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 broken heartTerre Short (subscriber in Monterey, California) writes: I was outraged to read this front-page title in The Monterey County Herald (1/25/99): "A Good Word for Good Daycare; It's Better for Language and Social Skills than Staying at Home with Mom." What followed was an incredibly biased report on the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) study by Orange County Register reporter Liz Kowalczyk. Ms. Kowalczyk spun a misleading article that ended on the note that there is "no overall advantage to staying home with mom." She failed to make clear that positive daycare results were found only in "quality daycare" situations, and that such situations are not the average.

Although Kowalczyk mentioned that most daycare in the United States was given only a "fair" rating, she immediately quoted a researcher saying, "but these results should relieve some of the guilt of working moms." This article seemed intent on "relieving" guilt by skewing the findings and padding them with emotionally based quotes.
  

"Part of the transition from being employed to being at home, experts say, is the gradual knowledge that while the at-home partner may not be drawing a paycheck, she or he not only is working but is working 24 hours a day at a job that's invaluable."
--Eric Adler, Staff Reporter for
The Kansas City Star
Kowalczyk failed to capture two important findings of Dr. Alison Clarke-Stewart (as noted in the press release): (1) "Parents have an important influence on children's development regardless of how much child care their children experience," and (2) "Comparisons between children in child care and those experiencing exclusive care from their mothers tell us little until we consider the quality of the care." Instead, Kowalczyk exploited several quotes by Clarke-Stewart and concluded her article quoting Clarke-Stewart as saying that researchers found no overall advantage to staying home with mom. Clarke-Stewart noted, "If there is one, we haven't discovered it. But who knows? Maybe kids who stayed home will end up being nicer to their moms in old age."

It is unfortunate that The Orange County Register published such sarcastic, biased and unscientific reporting, and that many local papers--including The Monterey County Herald--also published Kowalczyk's article. That these publications chose to degrade the role of mothering by touting the benefits of a small percentage of daycare situations is distressing. I submitted an editorial response to The Monterey County Herald.

Our thanks to Jeanne Entz (Spokane, Washington), who also sent The Orange County Register article that was published in her local papers. Thanks to Virginia Harvey (Woodinville, Washington) and Tonya Warren (Waco, Texas) who sent us the media articles on this report from their local papers.

heartOur heartfelt applause for Eric Adler of The Kansas City Star and his article, "Stay-at-home World--Once Employees, At-home Parents Wouldn't Trade Their New Roles for Anything" (The Kansas City Star, 2/21/99). In this well-balanced, informative and thoughtful article, Mr. Adler realistically explores the positive yet difficult transition from the world of paid employment to the role of at-home parenting.
20
Welcome Home  May 1999


 
family playing near tree
For his article, Adler interviewed several women and one man who had made the transition from work to home and reported that "to a person they will tell you that staying home to raise their children has been the greatest, most important and soul-satisfying job they've ever held." Despite this, he notes, the transition is difficult because most of today's parents have been prepared for full-time employment through education and on-the-job training, but there is no preparation for the transition to the world of at-home parenthood.

Adler notes the importance of spousal support for the at-home parent and wraps up with tips for making the transition, including hooking up with other at-home parents, discussing finances prior to leaving work, allowing for frustration, allowing time to adjust, remembering why you're home, noting your accomplishments, keeping your mind active, treating yourself and each other, making your needs known to your spouse and trusting your instincts.

 Finally, Adler provides a valuable list of sources and resources, including books and support groups. He covers the wide range of issues many at-home parents face in an accurate, fair manner while providing an array of helpful information and sources.
 
Reported by Lucinda Ellison Lu,
MAH public relations assistant and
media awards coordinator
broken heart"Wake up and smell the toilet bowl cleaner!" That was the message writer Martha Groves offered at-home moms in "No Apologies" (Newsday, 12/29/98). In an article that was supposedly about the unfair guilt heaped upon working mothers by society, Ms. Groves proves unable to defend her own choice to be in the workforce full-time without dredging up just about every degrading stereotype there is of at-home moms. 
May 1999  Welcome Home 21


 
She tells readers that at-home moms are both victims and perpetuators of male domination, that they are wasting their education and skills, that they do not consider the economic impact of living on one income, and that they are setting a bad example for their children and for society in general.

While Groves claims to respect at-home moms, her true feelings are belied by the condescending (even scolding) tone of the article: "I realize that homemaker moms are not purposely undermining the status of their office-bound peers. But I wonder how many of them consider the potential economic and societal consequences of their choice." She further comments, "For years now, when my female friends have married well and gleefully dropped out of the work force, I have offered the requisite congratulations. But I cringe on the inside, because I see each defection as chipping away at the progress women are making in the workplace."

In my letter to the editor, I pointed out that the economic consequences of living on one income are something that we deal with every day, and also that we at-home mothers have made a conscious decision to do so. I also disputed Groves' dubious assertion that at-home mothers are setting a bad example for their daughters.

All media outlets mentioned in this column receive letters from AMH and/ or copies of this published column.  Please send media articles for consideration (including publication name and date) with any comments or copies of your letter tothe editor to Marian Gormley, Media on Mothers, Mothers At Home, 8310A Old Courthouse Rd., Vienna, VA  22182.  Although we are unable to acknowledge each of the articles and letters we recieve, please be assured that your efforts help to make our work with the media possible and are very much needed and appreciated.
 
All media outlets mentioned in this column receive letters from MAH and/ or copies of this published column.  Please send media articles for consideration (including publication name and date) with any comments or copies of your letter to the editor to Marian Gormley, Media on Mothers, Mothers At Home, 8310A Old Courthouse Rd., Vienna, VA  22182.  Although we are unable to acknowledge each of the articles and letters we recieve, please be assured that your efforts help to make our work with the media possible and are very much needed and appreciated.

I pointed out that, while Groves cited no studies to back up her belief, there have been many studies showing that a lack of parental involvement is harmful for children.

I also expressed my disappointment in Newsday for not balancing Groves article with an article about the rewards and challenges of staying home. Furthermore, they asked readers to send in personal stories about "working mother guilt," but made no similar request for stories from at-home moms. I concluded that it was my hope that someday women could choose what they want to do (whether work, home or a combination) without feeling the need to attack anyone who chooses differently.

Reported by Pauline Connole,
WH's circulation manager
heartIn "Take This Job and Share It" (BabyTalk, November 1998), Lesley Alderman discusses the realities and "how-to's" of job-sharing for mothers who want or need to earn income but also want more family time than a full-time position would allow. Alderman notes that this win-win opportunity--where employees lessen their workload and employers get "twice the brainpower for the price of one salary"--is rarer than other forms of flexible work options, but that such opportunities may be on the rise.

Prudently noting that job sharing is not the ideal solution for everyone, Alderman suggests that interested job-share partners must have flexibility, work well together and have excellent communication and organizational skills. The article includes job-sharing resources and provides practical tips for formulating a job-share proposal.

Our thanks to BabyTalk both for this informative article and for its recognition of the fact that many parents are searching for creative employment opportunities in an effort to spend more time with their children.

Reported by Marian Gormley,
public relations director
22  Welcome Home  May 1999


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