At-Home Mothering

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Come Home to Your Children by Frank and Ayesha Jones (Stoddart Publishing, c-1997; $22.95)

Have you ever talked to a young couple who tell you they "hope" that some day, when they have children, one of them can be home? Do you know anyone who is struggling with the thought of leaving his or her career to become an at-home parent? Or a family wondering whether they can afford to live on one income? Do you ever feel that you're out of ideas for cutting down on spending? Come Home to Your Children can provide inspiration and practical ideas for all of the above situations. For one-income families, it can also provide reinforcement for their choices, ideas and inspiration. It takes a thorough look at how couples decide to have a parent at home and how they make it work both financially and emotionally.

The authors aren't offering a prescription--their interviews with many different kinds of families illustrate their admonition that there is no one way, no one direct path, to creating a family life with a parent at home. They issue a gentle but strong and persuasive call for parents to do what it takes to cut back on work time and spend time nurturing their children. Quotes from leading professionals reinforce the message about how important attachment is to babies and young children.

The authors spoke with many families, including some members of the Mothers At Home staff. The interviews are woven into a very readable text organized in two sections: "Deciding to Stay Home" and "Being at Home."

The "deciding" section might be a wake-up call for couples who are contemplating starting a family "some day." They can see how new parents sometimes struggle with the constraints of financial choices they made long before they started a family÷and long before they even considered that they might want to reduce the hours they spent earning income. They can also see how careful financial planning can free parents to spend more time with their children. The stories of other women leaving their careers should provide some insight and ideas for new mothers, and the authors stress the importance of the husbands' role in providing support and understanding during this transition. The chapter "What Babies Need" might prove helpful if there's someone in your extended family who consistently challenges your decision to be home--it's under twenty pages long and quotes leading researchers and professionals in the early childhood field.

The second part of the book, "Being at Home," explores issues about community, housing, the costs of owning cars and strategies for living better while spending less. Even those readers who are veterans at living on one income should appreciate the thought-provoking ideas and inventive solutions to financial challenges found among the families the authors profiled.

The financial aspects of the choice to live on one income are addressed throughout the book. The appendix includes a sample family budget worksheet and a "cost of working" worksheet. As the authors say, "This book is not about getting rich. It's for people who are prepared to make sacrifices to be with small people they love more than anything in the world."

The authors don't shy away from the tough aspects--loneliness, discouragement about finances, the lack of respect from the world at large. Yet it's clear that the families profiled in this book are not just surviving on one income--they are thriving. This is a thoughtful, well-researched book--one that provides both information and inspiration.

--Cathy Myers, FAHN Publications Director
(reprinted from Welcome Home, August 2000)

Dance Lessons:   Moving to the Rhythm of a Crazy God
by Catherine Wallace (Morehouse Publishing Company, 1999)

Catherine Wallace, interviewed for WH in October 1998 about her book, For Fidelity, now has published a memoir, Dance Lessons:   Moving to the Rhythm of a Crazy God.  In this book, she documents her struggle to balance her talents and ambitions as a literary scholar and academic with her children's needs -- and her need for them.  She discovers it is not simply a modern, personal struggle, but a spiritual one as well -- one that leads her to the realization that the real problem is one of vocation.  Her humorous, touching and deeply moving stories will strike a chord with WH readers.  These are woven in with Wallace's unique perspective on how the great literary and philosophical themes of Western culture play out in our ordinary, everyday lives.  This is, after all, how Wallace defines her role as an independent writer and cultural critic:  To help us see how "all this fine, complicated stuff is really part of our daily life."
-- reviewed by Betsy Kocsis

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Being There:  The Benefits of a Stay-at-Home Parent by Isabelle Fox, Ph.D. with Norman M. Lobsenz  (Barron's, 1996)

Fox's main purpose in tackling this subject is to offer practical advice to parents who are deciding who will care for their very young children. She offers new evidence about the critical importance of a parental presence in a child's early years, emphasizing the importance of continuity in child care.

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Sequencing by Arlene Rosen Cardozo (Brownstone Books, 1996) (ISBN 0965123804)

A groundbreaking source book for the professional woman who wants marriage, family, and a career, but not necessarily simultaneously. Sequencing details ways in which women sequence their lives to accommodate a full range of personal and professional options and choices, over a multi-decade adult lifespan.

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Staying Home: From Full-time Professional to Full-time Parent by Darcie Sanders and Martha M. Bullen (Spencer & Waters, 1999)

This practical guide helps women through the emotional transition from working-world career to at-home parent. Seasoned with plenty of practical advice, this guide explores every facet of the transition, from making the decision to feeling comfortable at home.

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Women Leaving the Workplace: How to Make the Transition from Work to Home by Larry Burkett (Moody Press, Chicago, 1999)

Financial adviser Larry Burkett has written a useful book, based on input from thousands of women (and men), to help mothers make the transition from the workplace to the home, considering both psychological and financial adjustments.

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Home By Choice: Raising Emotionally Secure Children in an Insecure World by Brenda Hunter (Multnomah Publishers Inc., August 2000) (ISBN 0945564813)

It's one of the toughest choices a mother will ever make: to "work" or be a full-time mother? It is also a long-running debate between moms who feel they contribute more to society at work than at home and those who feel mothering is not just a full-time job but a calling. In this newly repackaged, expanded, and updated edition of Home by Choice, national authority Dr. Brenda Hunter brings research to the discussion table, arguing that no one can replace the care a mother provides. As kids grow up with parental presence, she says, they develop a sense of home that will serve them all their lives. Dr. Hunter speaks directly to moms, addressing their unique concerns--such as financial pressure, support from husbands, and personal fulfillment. She makes a well-reasoned case for the enduring effects of a mother's love.

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A Mother's Work by Deborah Fallows (Houghton Mifflin Company, 1985) (ISBN 0395362180)

Fallows's purpose is to show, through an analysis of child-care resources, that children are better off when their parents care for them and that parents should try harder to accomplish this.

Out of Print

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