6 Important Facts (& Myths) About At-Home Parenting

Myth #1:  Most Young Children are in Alternative Child Care.

Fact:  The Majority of Preschool Children in America Do Spend Their Days with Their Mothers.

A.  Preschool Age:

Possibly the most reliable indicator of child care trends across the nation is the Bureau of Census report, "Who's Minding the Preschoolers?" ¹  The most current report, issued March 1996, in addition to Census Bureau data on total number of children below age 5, indicates that mothers account for the care of about 53% of all 20.5 million U.S. children below age five -- 49.9% by non-employed mothers and 3% by mothers who care for them while "on the job" (e.g., home-based businesses).

This figure rises to almost 61% when adding in children who are cared for by both parents in "tag team" care arrangements (7.8%).  Dad as sole care-giver (1.5%) and the care of relatives (12.3%) account for the child-care arrangements of an additional 14%.  Thus, almost three-quarters of young children in the U.S. are cared for by a mother, father or other relative. Non-family members account for the care of only about 25% of children below the age of five:  day-care centers comprise 15.1%; in-home day care comprises 8%; and nanny care accounts for 2.4% of the child care arrangements of young children.

B.  Older Children:

Another Census Bureau report² shows that non-employed mothers at home care for 39% (21.9 million of 56.1 million) of children between ages 5-14.

Thus, non-employed mothers at home care for 32.1 million³  (41.8%) of the country's 76.6 million children under age 15.⁴

The number of children primarily cared for by their mothers is even larger than these statistics indicate due to the Department of Labor's (DOL) definition of "employed" mother.  Included are mothers providing income by pursuing creative and non-traditional employment opportunities at home with their children.  Interestingly, the data indicate that half of all employed mothers, in fact, work only part-time.  (See Myth # 4.)  DOL's definition of "employed" captures any and all labor force participation; it is not designed to determine how many mothers consider themselves to be at-home mothers.
 

Myth #2:  Families Cannot Afford to Live on One Income Today

Fact:  Almost Eight Million American Married-Couple Families with Children under the Age of 18 Have a Non-Employed Mother and/or Father.

A.  Census Bureau Data Regarding Maternal Employment:

If the choice to have a parent at home is not affordable, then one would assume that few families would have one wage-earner.  Yet, the data do not bear this out.

The 1997 Census Bureau Current Population Survey shows that 7.62 million (28.8% of 26.4 million total)  married-couple families with children under age 18 have a non-employed parent, including 6.8 million families (25.9% of total families) with mom non-employed.⁵

Further, of the 19.6 million families (74.1% of total families) where both parents are employed, mom works only part time in 9.1 million (46.3% of employed moms; 34.3% of total families) of those families.

The total number of moms in married-couple families with children below age 18 who are employed part-time or are non-employed is 15.9 million, 60.2% of total families.

Clearly, many of today's parents have discovered the truth of pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton's remark that "every day you spend at home with your child is a gift to him."

See statistics in section III for additional detail.

B.  Income Differential Between Families with One vs. Two Wage-Earners:

It is true that an income differential exists between families where both parents are employed and where the father works and the mother earns no income.  The 1997 Census Bureau Current Population reports that married couple families with children below the age of 18 where both parents participate in the labor force have a median income of $59,733 -- about $17,500 more ($17,638 to be exact) than families with an employed father and non-employed mother ($42,095 median income).

The additional income provided by the second wage-earning parent, however, does not necessarily significantly improve the financial well-being of two-wage-earning families.  While on the face of it, this may seem like a large differential ($17,500), one must balance this against the  many costs associated with employment.  Financial analyst Jan MacGregor indicates that the costs of employment are often overlooked and yet can significantly reduce a family's real income.  More specifically, costs can include:

• Federal, state and local taxes on additional taxable income;

• Alternate child care;

• Wardrobe expenses, including uniforms, clothing, dry cleaning, accessories (e.g.,  jewelry, shoes, stockings)

• Commuting expenses, including gas, tolls, parking, wear and tear on your car, public transportation fares;

• Non-reimbursable business travel expenses;

• Non-reimbursable business expenses, such as educational expenses, trade journal subscriptions, books, membership dues, classes, pager, briefcase, appointment book, office  parties and gifts;

• Food and grocery expenses for convenience foods and meals out that you otherwise would not have purchased;

• Additional medical expenses for young children exposed to germs while under non-parental care; and

• Expenses for work you may no longer have time to do, such as cutting the lawn, tax return preparation, small home repairs, making gifts, washing your own car, house cleaning services.

 

Since 1984, Mothers At Home has heard from thousands of families across the country that, in their experience, the income differential minus expenses too often shrinks potential income to an amount not worth the lifestyle stress and required sacrifices of having both parents employed full-time.

Many mothers live by the adage, "Where there is a will, there is a way."  Many couples make decisions so that they can afford the choice to have a parent at home, including downsizing their homes and either scaling back or foregoing vacations, second cars, and luxuries. In addition, having a parent at home allows many families to economize, for example, through comparison shopping and avoiding high-priced convenience foods.
 

Myth #3:  Families with a Non-Employed Mother are Wealthy.

Fact:  The Fathers in Families with an Employed Mother Earn about the Same as Fathers in Families with a Non-Employed Mother.

Census Bureau Data re Fathers' Incomes:

Many people incorrectly assume that the husband's income in the typical family with a homemaker is very high -- after all, how could a typical family afford to have an at-home mother if the father were not a high-wage earner?  Yet 1997 Census Bureau data⁶  do not bear this out.  A comparison of the 1997 median earnings of a father with a non-employed wife ($37,116) to the median earnings of a father with an employed wife ($35,713) shows that the typical father in both types of families have nearly identical earnings -- a difference of just $1,403 per year.

 

Myth #4:  Mothers are Either Employed Full-Time or They are At-Home Mothers Earning No Income.

Fact:  There is a Broad Spectrum of Opportunity that Lies within these Two Options.

A.  Department of Labor Definition of "Employed Persons":

The labels "at-home mother" and "working mother" fall short of capturing or explaining the complex and varied ways in which mothers are at home and/or participating in the labor force.  The U.S. Department of Labor's  (DOL's) definition of "employed" casts a broad net.  Unfortunately, the improper use of DOL statistics on work force participation by members of the media and others has led many people to the incorrect conclusion that mothers either are employed full-time, year-round or are home earning no income.  Yet, millions of today's mothers counted as "employed" by DOL actually view themselves as at-home mothers.

More specifically, DOL's standard definition of "employed person"⁷  includes anyone who during the survey week:  worked part-time as little as one hour per week or as little as one week out of the year; worked in her own business or profession or on her own farm; worked 15 hours or more as an unpaid worker in a family-operated enterprise; provided alternate child care for money; or was temporarily absent from her job for a reason such as maternity leave (whether or not she returned to her job), illness, vacation, bad weather or a labor-management dispute.

B.  Census Bureau Data Indicate Many Employed Mothers Work Only Part-Time:

Nearly half of all employed mothers in married couple families with children below age 18 work on a part-time basis.

Over 9 million (34.3% or 9.061 million) employed mothers in married-couple families with children below age 18 (19.6 million employed moms total) work on a part-time basis,⁸ meaning they are not full-time, year-round workers.

C.  Work/Family Choices of Today's Mothers:

Census Bureau data indicate that in all, 15.9 million (or 60.2%) of the 26.4 million married couple families with children below age 18 have a non-employed mother or a mother employed part-time.⁹

The large number of non-employed and part-time employed moms is evidence that family considerations are playing a key role in the number of hours mothers are willing to be on the job.  The choices women are making today are fluid and responsive to the needs of their families.  Many of today's mothers pursue non-traditional employment opportunities to create more family time.  Innovative options pursued by today's mothers include job-sharing, flex- and part-time work, "tag team" parenting (parents working different shifts), telecommuting, home-based businesses, and motherhood sabbaticals.

Note Linda Burton, Janet Dittmer and Cheri Loveless in What's A Smart Woman Like You Doing at Home? (Mothers at Home, 1992), "In an effort to keep her original career goals somewhat intact while putting them on hold to rear her children, she [today's mother] often experiments with full-time work, part-time work, volunteer work -- sometimes overcommitting her time, then drawing back, then reaching out again -- until she finds the right balance of attentiveness to home life and pursuit of outside accomplishments."¹⁰

 
 

Myth #5:  Most Mothers and Families Want and Need Better and More Center-Based Child Care.

Fact:  Most Mothers and Families Want More Time with their Children.

A.  Center-Based Care Chosen by Minority of Families:

Certainly, affordable and accessible child care are important issues for today's parents.  However, the perception that paid staff provide the majority of nurturing to young children is not based on fact.  Indeed, the 1996 Bureau of the Census Report, "Who's Minding the Preschoolers?," ¹¹ in combination with Census Bureau data on the total number of children below age 5, indicates that only 15.1% of preschool children are in center-based care.  In contrast, mothers themselves care for almost 61% (60.7%) of preschool children (49.9% by a non-wage-earning mother, 7.8% by tag-team parents, and 3% by mothers while employed, for example, in a home-based business).  Fathers care for 1.5%  of these children; relatives care for 12.3%; in-home day care counts for 8% and nanny-care counts for 2.4%.

B.  Opinion Polls State Parents Want More Time With Their Children:

An equally, if not more, compelling issue of our day is that mothers and fathers want more time with their children.  In addition, most people believe that the best care for a child is the care given by a parent.  Consider just a few of the many opinion polls that support this conclusion:

Necessary Compromises, a study released August 2000 by the non-profit, nonpartisan research and education organization, Public Agenda, found that 70 percent of parents with children 5 and younger believed one parent  staying at home was the best arrangement for young children. More than 800 parents were surveyed, with the overwhelming majority stating that, "the love and sustained attention a parent offers simply cannot be replicated by other forms of care."

June/July 1999 Parenting Magazine Report on Childcare Survey noted that "More than a third of the [1000] respondents to our survey wished they could stay home with their child."

A December 1997 poll by Wirthlin Worldwide for the Family Research Council asked 1,004 adults to rate the form of day care they believed was most desirable for preschool children.  Out of nine options, an overwhelming majority of Americans still believe that "care by a child's own mother" is the single most desirable form of child care.  Those findings are consistent regardless of race, age, political affiliation, or income level.  The second preferred choice was "care by a child's grandmother, aunt, or other family member."  Rated least desirable was "care by a government day care center" and second to last was "care by a commercial day care center."

A May 1997 survey of 1,101 American women by the Pew Research Center for The People & The Press found that 41% of women surveyed "thought that a family in which the father worked and the mother stayed at home was best for raising children."  Only 17% of women surveyed said it was beneficial for children and society to have mothers work outside the home.  Among women who work full time, only 41% said they were confident that their situation was good for their children.  In addition, 44% of respondents with children under 18 "would choose to work part time rather than full time;" and 25% said they would "prefer to stay at home."

A February 1996 survey conducted for the Independent Women's Forum by The Polling Company found that more than half (55%) of adults are willing to trade some seniority or pay at work in exchange for more personal time.  One third (33%) of all respondents would choose to have one parent at home full-time with their children if their economic situation would allow.

The September 1996 "Poll of Parents with Children at Home" by the polling firm Penn & Schoen for the National Parenting Association found that 94% of parents surveyed endorsed "Tax incentives to encourage family-friendly policies by employers, such as benefits for part-time workers and flexible working hours."

Parents Magazine/Women & Work Poll/Reader Survey results published May 1996:

•  43% of 18,000 mothers surveyed said they would like to stay home, nearly twice as many mothers who felt that way in 1989;
•  68% of working mothers did not feel they had enough time with their family;
•  If moms could choose to do whatever they wished: only 4% would choose full-time employment, 61% would work part-time, and 29% would not choose any paid employment,
•  56% of women felt "it is better for the child if the mother does not work."

A 1996 National Study of Women's Awareness, Attitudes, and Opinions conducted for Concerned Women for America by Wirthlin Worldwide (1,015 participants) found that 8 out of 10 American women agree with the statement, "If I could afford it, I would like to stay home and be a full-time mother."

A May 1995 Louis Harris and Associates poll, conducted with the Whirlpool Foundation and the Families and Work Institute found interesting responses to the question of work preference if "you had enough money to live as comfortably as you'd like." Only 15% of the women and 33% of the men would work full-time; 33% of women and 28% of men would work part-time; and  20% of women and 17% of men would choose volunteer work.
 
 

Myth #6:  Women with Careers and Families "Have It All," While Mothers at Home are Throwbacks to the 1950s.

Fact:  Mothers at Home Today are there by Choice Because of a Strong Conviction about the Importance of What They Do.  Employed Mothers are Finding that "Having It All" Really Means Making Trade-offs.

Many women trying to balance full- and even part-time work with family life are concluding that "superwoman" is a mythical figure.  Despite the rewards of a professional career and financial realities that lead some to employment, many women are concluding that "having it all" really means making trade-offs.  Those trade-offs include fewer opportunities to be with their children -- to experience the many firsts that happen but once, to impart their values, and to revel in the endless challenges and joys of motherhood.  Many employed mothers are also finding that the balancing act often leaves them exhausted and stressed, overextended and wishing for more time with their children.

Arlene Rossen Cardozo in her book, Sequencing (Collier/MacMillan, 1986), counters the myth that today's homemaker is a throwback to the 1950s by noting that she is far different than her sister of that era.  Before the arrival of her first child, today's mother at home has often had more education, work experience and career options.  Writes Cardozo, "Sequencing is the solution more and more women choose ..., career and family, but not trying to do it all at once, at all times in their lives."

Michael S. Niziol, MD, understanding the choice made by many mothers to forego or cut back on paid employment to care for their children, writes in "The Devaluation of Motherhood," (Go Take On the Day, September 1997)  "Indeed, one does not trade a briefcase for chocolate chip cookies but rather for the heart and soul of a child, and the heart and soul of that child becomes the heart and soul of society.  It is this long-term investment in the development of individuals of character who are insightful, patient, caring, and knowledgeable that makes an individual, community, nation, and world a better place to live, and this is what motherhood is about.  Clearly, it takes immense character to be able to give without recognition, to put aside the trivial material needs that seem so pressed but in reality are so trivial, to have the clearness of mind and the strength of spirit to look at what really matters and to give of yourself to make another better.  And so the next time you question why the fabric of society is continuing to unravel at the edges, ask yourself what the emotional, financial, and intellectual value of motherhood is worth."

In their book, What's A Smart Woman Like You Doing at Home? (Mothers At Home, 1986, revised 1992), Linda Burton, et. al., write "it is difficult to find a woman who is unhappily 'stuck' at home.  Rather, most women who stay home are there because of enormous conviction about the importance of what they do."

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Footnotes:
¹  Casper, Lynn M., Who's Minding the Preschoolers? March 1996, U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Report, P70-36, U.S. Government Printing Office, Washington, D.C. 1996 (uses data from 1993 U.S. Census Bureau).
²  Casper, Lynn M., Mary Hawkins, and Martin O'Connell, Who's Minding the Kids? Child Care Arrangements. Fall 1991, U.S. Bureau of the Census, Current Population Reports, P70-36, U.S. Government Printing Office, Washington, D.C. 1994.
³  10.2 million children under age 5 + 21.9 million children ages 5-14 = 32.1 million children under age 15
⁴  20.5 Million children under age 5 + 56.1 million children age 5-14 = 76.6 total children under age 15
⁵  More specifically, 6.2 million (23.3% of total families) have an employed father and non-employed mother; 778,000 (2.9% of total families) have an employed mother and non-employed father; and 672,000 families (2.6% of total families) have both parents who do not participate in the labor force. Thus, there are 6.8 million families (25.9% of total families) with mom non-employed.
⁶  U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Survey, March 1997.
⁷  "Explanatory Notes" section of the annual Department of Labor news release on mothers and employment.
⁸  U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Survey, March 1997.
⁹  Ibid.
¹⁰  What's A Smart Woman Like You Doing at Home? (Revised edition, Mothers At Home, 1992, p. 19.
11  Casper, Lynn M., Who's Minding the Preschoolers? March 1996, U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Report, P70-36, U.S. Government Printing Office, Washington, D.C. 1996.

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