MAH RESPONDS TO MEDIA: MAH Letter to Parenting magazine

The June/July 1999 issue of Parenting magazine included a report on a Parenting survey of parental attitudes about child care.  Missing from the article was any mention of the option of at-home parenting.  MAH sent the following letter in response.

 
June 30, 1999

Parenting
Attn:  Letters to the Editor
1325 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY  10019

Dear Editor:

I am writing on behalf of Mothers At Home, a not-for-profit organization that supports mothers who are raising their children at home.  Many of our members read and enjoy Parenting magazine.  However, we are concerned that the article entitled "Who's Watching Our Children" (by Harriet Brown, June/July 1999) omits important information that parents need to make informed decisions about caring for their young children.

First, we were disturbed to see that the article does not include parental care as one of the child care options available to families.  The article discusses four types of child care, but does not give equal time to the option of altering the parents’ work schedules so that mother or father can be with the children.  In so doing, the article unfortunately perpetuates the myth that few parents today care for their own children at home.  In fact, more than 60 percent of children under age five are cared for at home by their parents, according to 1996 Census Bureau data.  (Casper, Lynn M., Who's Minding the Preschoolers?, March 1996, U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Report, P70-36, U.S. Government Printing Office, Washington, D.C. 1996.)  While some families find that they cannot afford to keep a parent at home, many others have managed to do so (7.62 million families with children under the age of 18, according to the 1997 Census Bureau Current Population Report), often at considerable financial sacrifice.  By omitting parental care as a child care option, the article implies that it is not a route that working parents, who may or may not be happy with their current child care situation, should even consider.  This "blind spot" with respect to parental care pervades the article.  In the discussion of the benefits of setting up a caregiving co-op with another parent, saving money and "socializing" the children are mentioned, but not the fact that parent and child get to spend more time together -- certainly the greatest benefit of all.

It is interesting to note that, despite the absence of parental care from the list of available options, two of the four families featured found a better child care situation as the result of a parent's decision to stay at home with a child.  One father rearranged his work schedule so that he could be at home with his daughter three days a week "[b]ecause [the parents] feel that they are the ones who can give their daughter, now two, the best guidance."  Another family was able to have the mother's sister watch their child because the sister had made the decision to stay home with her own child.

Second, the article cites "reassuring" research that is not really so reassuring to the average family.  A recent, highly-publicized study by Dr. Elizabeth Harvey showed no significant differences in certain characteristics of children whose mothers worked when compared with children whose mothers stayed home.  However, the population that Dr. Harvey studied was heavily skewed toward disadvantaged families:  low-income, single-mother, and minority families were disproportionately represented, and the mothers tended to be young and of below-average intelligence.  The author of the study herself stated that her results "may not be generalized to older, higher [socioeconomic status] parents."

Third, while the article notes problems of child care quality, it does not include the information that even high quality paid child care is not necessarily good for small children.  Young children who spend large amounts of time in day care, for example, may not receive the one-on-one attention or develop the close, sustained caregiver relationships they require for healthy mental and emotional development, according to child psychiatrist Dr. Stanley Greenspan.  ("The Reasons Why We Need to Rely Less on Day Care," The Washington Post, Oct. 19, 1997.)   Children exposed to a series of nannies also may fail to develop these crucial sustained relationships.  Another article in the same issue of Parenting  ("A Day in the Mind of a Toddler" by Paula Spencer, June/July 1999) quotes psychology professor Alicia Lieberman, Ph.D., as saying that "unscripted time alone is constructive and necessary" for toddlers.  But children in day care may well not get enough such time, hampered by an institutional schedule and the need constantly to fend off a roomful of other toddlers.

Finally, while the article paints a rather rosy picture, asking why parents would want to change caregivers in light of recent research, the statistics cited in the article tell a different story.  Almost two-thirds of the survey respondents would change their child care situation if they could, and more than one-third would stay home with their children if they could.  Equally disturbing, 61 percent of child care was not even rated "good" in the federal survey you cite.  Suggesting that parents correct the deficiencies of their child care situations by "just bring[ing] a book to a provider so she can read to your child" or "[s]ay[ing] something that makes her more interested in her job" is like telling them to plug the dike with chewing gum.  While improving the quality of paid child care is certainly a worthwhile goal, it is at least as important to recognize, inform, and support parents who want to raise their children themselves.  In addition, it is critical to ensure that parents, and parents-to-be, are aware of the innumerable benefits to children of having a loving parent at home, especially during these precious and fleeting early years, benefits that no paid child care situation can duplicate.

Individuals interested in learning more about Mothers At Home may call 1-800-783-4MOM to receive a free information packet or check our web site at www.mah.org.

Sincerely,

Marian Gormley
Public Relations Director
703/534-7858 (phone/fax); media@mah.org

P.S.  Mothers At Home would be happy to provide Parenting magazine with additional information about at-home parenting. Please let me know if we can be of any assistance.
 

cc:  Ms. Harriet Brown, c/o Parenting magazine
       Stanley Greenspan, M.D.