News Release: Fathers Reflect on Their Powerful Parenting Experiences June 2002

For more information, contact: Susan DeRitis 703-866-4164 media@FamilyAndHome.org

This Father's Day, Family and Home Network honors the special contributions fathers make to their families. We celebrate fathers who recognize the need children have for generous amounts of time with their parents. Millions of fathers do their best to find creative ways to meet their children’s needs. In many families, the mother and the father share a deep commitment to their children as well as respect for each other's work, whether it is paid employment or unpaid caregiving. Family and Home Network salutes all nurturing fathers – those who are sole breadwinners so their wives can be at-home mothers, those who are at-home dads, those who share earning and caregiving responsibilities, and those who are single parents.

Family and Home Network provides a forum for parents to offer information, support and inspiration to each other in its award-winning monthly journal Welcome Home. Through essays, poetry, photography, and art, parenting is valued and celebrated. We acknowledge the challenges and the joys of parenting children from infants through the teen years.

We are pleased to share the following excerpts of writings by fathers:

“I knew I was a father when….”:

"Way beyond her tiny size, her presence filled the maternity suite. My daughter -- tiny, perfect, innocent, helpless -- but mine. By the time they weighed her, I was in full-blown protective mode, double-checking ID bracelets, and keeping a careful eye on the nurses. I was her FATHER, ya know?” James C.

"The first time I had to really discipline my son, I started to scold him and I clearly heard my dad's voice saying the exact words in my head. It made me pause, but I went on with the scolding. That's when I knew I was a real dad." Mike S.

"I knew I was a father when I walked through a nature store and it dawned on me that it was okay to buy rubber lizards again." Brian F.

On parenting teens:

“Our town has a big evening parade to celebrate Halloween. One year, my young almost-teen was eager to meet a group of her classmates along the parade route. Several parents called us to say that they couldn’t hang around at the parade with their kids, so could we keep an eye on all of them? I was sent off to be the specified adult with an expanding group of kids, only some of whom I knew. … I followed the group at a distance of twenty to thirty feet as they meandered through the throngs…. I made sure I knew where they were and what they were doing, but stayed back enough to give them room for private conversation and the feeling of independence. It wasn’t easy… I had a few frantic moments when the amorphous group stated to head in two different directions…. The kids had a great time and the other parents thanked me for my careful monitoring.” Pat J.

“There is nothing a teenager looks forward to more than the freedom of driving….. I had to balance teaching my son not to be overconfident while at the same time not scaring him into being too cautious….Above all, he needed to understand that it is only an automobile, and the most important thing is that he and his passengers are safe.” -- Mike S.

Poetry from the pages of Welcome Home:

in her garage
two new cars
both by Fisher-Price

- Robert Deluty

 

A Dock or a Father

The whole purpose
of a dock or

a father is to lead

to water deep enough
to dive in.

- Kevin Anderson

Family and Home Network urges fathers to write about their own powerful parenting experiences. We invite fathers to find affirmation, information and community in our network of nurturing parents. For more information, call toll-free 1-866-352-1075.

 

Family and Home Network Our Vision: Universal recognition of the critical importance of parents' emotional engagement with their children; societal support for the need of parents and children to spend generous amounts of time together; profound respect for parents who make these commitments and acknowledgement of the short- and long-term benefits to society. Our Mission: Advocate for parents and children of all ages concerning their need for generous amounts of time together; Affirm the choice to be home through the many stages of parenthood to nurture children of all ages; Provide parent-to-parent support, education and networking; Correct society's misconceptions and refute stereotypes about parenting; Encourage respect for the contributions made by each parent, as couples share decisions regarding nurturing and providing for their families; Empower all parents to preserve and improve the opportunity to forgo or cut back on paid employment; and Educate society about the benefits of parents and children being emotionally engaged and spending generous amounts of time together.