MAH RESPONDS TO MEDIA: MAH Letter to Redbook magazine

The April, 2000  issue of Redbook magazine included an article on the so-called "mommy wars" that pitted at-home mothers against full-time working mothers.  MAH sent this letter in response.
 

April 12, 2000

By Email and First Class Mail

Redbook
224 West 57th Street
New York, NY 10019

Dear Redbook Editors:

I am writing to you on behalf of Mothers At Home, Inc., the oldest and one of the largest non-profit organizations supporting at-home mothers.  Mothers At Home publishes Welcome Home, a monthly journal featuring articles, essays, and poetry written by mothers for mothers.  For 17 years, Welcome Home has provided at-home mothers with support and affirmation as they embrace the joys and challenges of parenting.

We read with dismay the article "Why Are These Moms at War?" in your April 2000 issue.  It is unproductive to pit employed and at-home mothers against one another as Redbook has done.  Certainly mothers who have made different choices about child-rearing may have differences of opinion.  Certainly they may express those differences with spirit when confronted with an opposing viewpoint.  Parenting is one of the most emotional issues one can discuss.

But the fact that mothers have made different child-raising choices does not mean that they are at "war."  That is a perception created and perpetuated by the media because it sells magazines.  As your editor-in-chief noted in her introductory column, most employed and at-home mothers have far more in common than they have differences.  This common ground includes a deep, abiding love for their children; a desire to do what they believe is best for their children and their families; a struggle to find time for themselves, their partners, and their aspirations beyond child-raising; financial concerns; and all of the challenges of raising children.

Far from occupying two opposing camps, as your article suggests, mothers today cover the full range from full-time and part-time employment to non-employed.  Many mothers are carving out substantial time to be at home with their children by taking part-time work, working out of their homes, telecommuting, job-sharing and the like.  Statistics on "working mothers" often fail to capture this fact because they often include as "working" the mother who is employed as little as one hour a week or one week a year.  Of our over 12,000 subscribers, half work at least part-time but all consider themselves to be at-home mothers.

You do your readers a disservice by reviving the hackneyed "mommy wars" story -- complete with boxing gloves and sensational headlines.  In our experience, most mothers who stay home with their children are not angered by the choices other mothers have made (though they may disagree with those choices).  Many at-home mothers are furious, however, at the treatment they receive in media reports that -- like yours -- seem to delight in portraying today's mothers as petulant, immature participants in a "cat fight."

Mothers At Home would be happy to provide Redbook with information about the joys, challenges, and benefits of at-home parenting.  Our telephone line for media inquiries is 703/534-7858, and our web site is www.mah.org.

Sincerely,

Marian Gormley
Director of Public Relations
 

P.S.  As I was on the point of sending this letter out, I read and enjoyed the article "Why You Don't Need a Balanced Life" in your May 2000 issue (page 96) -- a much more thoughtful and positive treatment of issues facing mothers today.
 

Enclosures