Affordability Project

Planning Ahead

by Marybeth Donahue Connelly

This article is part of a series profiling families who responded to our Affordability Survey. This series is designed to examine some of the strategies employed by parents who want to spend generous amounts of time with their children.

Common wisdom holds that parents who voluntarily give up an income are “sacrificing” certain things.Jeanne and Jeff Borer of Everett, Washington, married during college in 1982. Starting with nothing but textbooks and hand-me-down furniture, together they have built their lives around their family. Today they are the parents of Sara (twelve), Aidan (ten) and Marisa (seven). “We don’t perceive our lives and our decisions in terms of loss or sacrifice,” says Jeanne. “We have been thoughtful and deliberate in our decisions. We have worked hard and had some good fortune.”

If you had asked Jeanne and Jeff Borer fifteen years ago to look into a crystal ball to see their future, they might have missed the details of Jeff’s flexible work schedule, the daily family dinners or the activities their children enjoy, but they would have accurately predicted that no matter the details, Jeanne would always be at home with their children.

Heeding wise advice from their own parents, they planned from the start to live on one income. Even during the years when both spouses were working, they lived on Jeff’s income and used Jeanne’s salary for one-time purchases, such as furniture, and to pay off their car loan early. When their first daughter, Sara, was born, they didn’t have to scale down their expenses because they had planned carefully and hadn’t fallen into the trap of needing every penny they earned to pay the bills.

Jeanne and Jeff have always considered the income that came into their family as belonging to both of them, no matter who earned it. Jeanne attributes part of this attitude to their start with nothing, but she says that it is also a “mind-set.” They were both raised in families with at-home mothers whose contribution to the family was valued by the whole family.

Growing up in a rural community gave Jeanne a practical view of family responsibility. She never had the feeling that an at-home parent was not working because on the farm everyone worked--even the kids. As a suburban wife and mother, she finds it a challenge to instill that same sense of contribution in their children. Through chores like walking the dog, taking out the trash, setting the table and cleaning the fish tank, she and Jeff want their children to learn that all work contributes to the overall well-being of the family.

Over the years Jeff’s salary has steadily increased, as have the requirements of his job as an engineer at Boeing. Lately he’s been traveling more often to Asia. Another intangible benefit of having a parent at home is that the other is able to pursue a more demanding career.

Thanks to careful planning, budgeting and keeping a tight reign on unnecessary expenses, the Borer’s financial situation is sound. They have discovered by trial and error the importance of planning their finances with a budget and sticking to it. When they follow their budget, their finances remain stable. When they ignore it, money has disappeared into all sorts of black holes.

Jeff and Jeanne share financial responsibilities. They are both committed to saving for long-term expenses, rather than incurring debt and crawling out of it. For instance, they are currently saving for future orthodontia so that they’ll have funds available when they need them. They plan ahead for Christmas, birthdays, vacations and car maintenance. Jeanne hopes to set aside a portion of Jeff’s next raise for big-ticket house maintenance like a new roof and new carpet that may be coming in the next few years.

At the time their first child was born, the Borer’s income was less than half of what it is currently. Now, with an annual income of $76,000, the Borers are comfortable, but their monthly expenses reflect a growing family. In many ways making ends meet is more difficult now than it was when Jeff’s income was smaller. As their children grow, costs for school, activities and food continue to rise. Several years ago, they moved to a larger home, and their monthly mortgage payment is now $1,617. Other monthly expenditures include $800 for food, $165 for clothing, $435 for transportation, $190 for medical expenses, $672 for other essentials like utilities, insurance, house maintenance, haircuts, charitable donations, entertainment, birthday and Christmas presents. They always tuck away $335 in long-term savings.

Jeanne’s advice for a family thinking of making the move to one income is to learn everything about their own finances. “Know where the money is spent; learn to budget; get out of debt; learn where and how to maximize your income. Living on one income is about making choices and deciding what is most important to you.”

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