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Problems and Solutions:"And What Do You Do?"This column appeared in a previous issue of Welcome Home |
Problem:How do you respond to the classic cocktail party question, "And what do you do, Mrs. ______?" |
Solutions:When we're at a party and someone asks me what I do, my husband puts his arm around me and says, "She's the director of a small economic concern." --Beth B., Oak Park, Illinois
I say: I'm at home with my kids. I have three preschoolers at home and they need me. I love it, and I have no desire to do anything else right now. People here think you're crazy to be out working when you have little ones. You can always go back to a career later. Once they are in school there is more pressure to say you do something else. --Jean F., Santa Barbara, California
I tell people I'm a teacher and a parent. That's primarily what mothers do -- teach! --Susan G., Chicago, Illinois
I respond by saying, "I'm raising the future leaders of our nation. I could work in the business field as I have in the past, but my desire now is to raise my child. What better thing can I do right now? And what do you do?" --Sheila I., Beavercreek, Ohio
This question made me stop and wonder what some of my motivations are, since I nearly always emphasize something other than my mothering role. I've done a wide variety of things on a part-time basis since the birth of my first child, and my answers reflect this: "Oh, I do research for political campaigns" or "I sell educational toys", or "I do freelance writing and editing", or "I do marketing research work for a major candy company." I wonder if I've ever said, "I spend the majority of my time in the role I consider most important -- being a wife and mother." Probably not. For some awful reason I'm afraid I'd lose credibility as a person. This question has made me realize that if I'm proud of what I'm doing I should let people know. --Barbara O., Placentia, California
I say, "I'm a household mover! I move food, I move kids, I move toys… I'm a mover!" --Ruth P., Louisville, Colorado
If someone asks me what I do, I tell them I'm working in child development on a one-to-one basis. If they ask, "How's the pay?" I say, "Not enough." Eventually someone figures out that I'm a mother. --Pat D., Riverside, Illinois For more on the choice to be at home, you may be interested in these reprints: #200: What About You? (Why One Mother Chose Home). Does life at home provide benefits for anyone besides our kids? In a beautifully written essay, popular Welcome Home writer Nelia Odom describes how being an at-home mother has helped her to grow in ways she never anticipated. This essay is a must-read for any woman who wonders if at-home mothering is for her! |
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