How do you respond to the classic cocktail party question, "And what do you do, Mrs. ______?"

When we're at a party and someone asks me what I do, my husband puts his arm around me and says, "She's the director of a small economic concern."

--Beth B., Oak Park, Illinois

I say: I'm at home with my kids.  I have three preschoolers at home and they need me.  I love it, and I have no desire to do anything else right now. 

People here think you're crazy to be out working when you have little ones. You can always go back to a career later. Once they are in school there is more pressure to say you do something else.

--Jean F., Santa Barbara, California

I tell people I'm a teacher and a parent.  That's primarily what mothers do -- teach! 

--Susan G., Chicago, Illinois

I respond by saying, "I'm raising the future leaders of our nation.  I could work in the business field as I have in the past, but my desire now is to raise my child. What better thing can I do right now?  And what do you do?"

--Sheila I., Beavercreek, Ohio

This question made me stop and wonder what some of my motivations are, since I nearly always emphasize something other than my mothering role.  I've done a wide variety of things on a part-time basis since the birth of my first child, and my answers reflect this: "Oh, I do research for political campaigns" or "I sell educational toys", or "I do freelance writing and editing", or "I do marketing research work for a major candy company."  I wonder if I've ever said, "I spend the majority of my time in the role I consider most important -- being a wife and mother." Probably not.  For some awful reason I'm afraid I'd lose credibility as a person.  This question has made me realize that if I'm proud of what I'm doing I should let people know.

--Barbara O., Placentia, California

I say, "I'm a household mover! I move food, I move kids, I move toys… I'm a mover!"

--Ruth P., Louisville, Colorado

If someone asks me what I do, I tell them I'm working in child development on a one-to-one basis.  If they ask, "How's the pay?" I say, "Not enough."  Eventually someone figures out that I'm a mother.

--Pat D., Riverside, Illinois

For more on the choice to be at home, you may be interested in these reprints:

#200:  What About You?  (Why One Mother Chose Home).  Does life at home provide benefits for anyone besides our kids?  In a beautifully written essay, popular Welcome Home writer Nelia Odom describes how being an at-home mother has helped her to grow in ways she never anticipated.  This essay is a must-read for any woman who wonders if at-home mothering is for her!
#210:  What Do You Do All Day?  If at-home mothers don't sit home eating bon-bons, what do they do?  Written by MAH co-founder Linda Burton, this article shows that even the simplest activity with a child can be packed with meaning, learning and growth.
#240:  Why I'm Still at Home.  If you're feeling pressure to return to work as your children enter elementary school, this reprint may be the encouragement you need to reaffirm your choice to be an at-home mother.  You'll enjoy the perspectives of three Welcome Home writers with school-age children who are committed to life at home, as well as letters from readers affirming their choice.